How to Talk to Your Loved Ones About Death, Money, and Estate Planning Over the Holidays

You open the door to your parents' home for the first time since the funeral. Every space is filled with what they left behind. Closets stuffed with decades of clothes. Cabinets filled with china that was never used. A garage packed with tools, holiday decorations, and boxes labeled "miscellaneous." Drawers are packed with papers and small objects whose stories only they knew. It is a lot to take in, and even more to sort through. The task ahead feels impossible. This scene unfolds in homes across America every day. Over the next two decades, an estimated $90 trillion in assets will pass from Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation to their families. Along with that wealth comes something just as heavy: a lifetime of personal belongings that must be sorted, divided, donated, or thrown away. Without clear guidance, your loved ones can spend months or even years trying to decide what matters, what has value, and what you would have wanted done. And it is not money that causes the most conflict when someone dies. It is the stuff. The personal items that carry memories, meaning, and emotion often create the deepest disagreements among families. The good news is that you can spare your family this stress by planning thoughtfully now. In this article, you will learn how to organize your belongings, share your wishes, and put a plan in place that protects the people you love from being overwhelmed, while preserving what truly matters most. Why Your Possessions Need a Plan Too Most people think estate planning only covers financial assets like bank accounts, retirement funds, and real estate. In reality, your estate includes everything you own, from your grandmother’s engagement ring to that stack of vintage records in the basement. Without clear direction for your personal belongings, you leave your family facing confusion, disagreement, and hundreds of difficult decisions at a painful time. Think about what that looks like for the people you love. They open every drawer, wondering whether something important is about to be tossed. They argue over who should have Mom’s jewelry or Dad’s tools. Relationships can strain or even break over items that hold deep emotional meaning, even when their dollar value is small. Sorting through a lifetime of possessions often takes three to six months of focused effort. Your family may need to take time off work, travel back and forth, and make decision after decision about things they may have never seen before. There is also real financial risk. Without clear guidance, valuable items can end up in donation piles or tossed aside. Collections built over decades may be sold for a fraction of their true value simply because no one knows what they are worth. Is that little trinket something picked up at a department store, or a piece once purchased from an art gallery? Shows like Antiques Roadshow prove this all the time, when everyday objects turn out to be worth thousands of dollars. Take a moment and walk through your own home. Picture your children or other loved ones trying to sort through it all. Think about the stories behind the objects they do not know. With thoughtful planning now, you can lift this burden from their shoulders and turn your possessions into meaningful gifts instead of sources of stress and conflict. Start the Conversation Before It’s Too Late The best time to address your belongings is when you are healthy and able to participate in meaningful conversations about them. Waiting until a health crisis or until you are gone removes your voice from the process completely. Start by identifying the items that carry special meaning. Walk through your home, room by room, and note anything with emotional value, financial importance, or family history. That china set may have been your great-grandmother’s wedding gift. Those tools may have belonged to your father. Capture these stories now, while they are still clear. Next, have honest conversations with your family about what they truly want. Many people assume their children will treasure certain items, only to learn that their children have different tastes, homes, and lifestyles. Instead of guessing, ask them what matters to them. Consider creating a personal property memorandum as part of your estate plan. This document lets you list specific items and who should receive them, and it can be updated without rewriting your entire will. It gives you flexibility as your belongings and relationships change over time. These conversations may feel awkward at first, but they help prevent future conflict and make sure your wishes are respected when it matters most. Make It Easier By Doing the Work Now Start with the things you have been saving. Those beautiful dishes in the cabinet deserve to be used, not hidden behind glass. (Be sure to test vintage china for lead before using it!) Wear the jewelry. Use the silver. Hang the artwork. Let your belongings be part of your life, not just part of your storage. Then sort what you own into four simple categories: keep and use, give away now, designate for specific people, and dispose of. The “give away now” category is especially powerful because you get to see the happiness your things bring to others while you are still here. For items that may have real value, get them properly appraised. Collections of coins, stamps, antiques, or artwork should be evaluated by a professional. Keep a copy of the appraisal with your estate planning documents so your family knows what they have and can make informed decisions. Create an inventory of the items that carry stories or meaning. A simple list in a notebook or spreadsheet, noting what the item is, why it matters, and who you want to have it, can save your loved ones hours of confusion and second-guessing. By taking these steps now, you turn what could become an overwhelming burden into a clear and manageable process for the people you love. How Comprehensive Estate Planning Protects Your Family From the Burden Traditional estate planning often stops at financial accounts and real estate, leaving personal belongings out of the picture. But the things you own deserve the same thoughtful care. True protection for your family means more than having a stack of legal documents. It means giving your loved ones a clear plan for what happens next. They need to know where important papers are kept, how to access accounts, and what steps to take first. Just as importantly, they need guidance on what to do with your belongings while they are grieving and navigating the legal process. Should there be an estate sale? Are there items meant for specific people? Should a collection stay together or be donated? These questions are far easier to answer when you have already made your wishes known. You can also capture the stories behind your possessions as part of your plan. Explain why certain items matter, share the history behind a collection, and pass along the memories attached to them. When your family receives your grandmother’s ring, they also receive the story of how she wore it and what it meant to your family. In that way, your belongings become more than objects. They become living connections to you. Finally, review and update your plan regularly as your life and assets change. This ensures your plan will work over time and won’t fail your loved ones when they need it most. How I Can Support You Your belongings tell the story of your life. With the right planning, they become a gift to the people you love. Without it, they can turn into an overwhelming burden. The choices you make today, and the conversations you have now, shape how your family will experience your legacy. Through a comprehensive Life and Legacy Plan, I help you give your loved ones clarity and protection, so they stay out of court, avoid conflict, and have a plan they can rely on when it matters. Once your plan is in place, you can relax knowing your wishes will be respected, your family will be cared for, and your assets will be handled as you intended. I will also check in with you over time to keep everything up to date, so your plan continues to reflect your life as it changes. That way, you can focus on living, knowing the people you love are protected.

National Unclaimed Property Day, observed every February 1, highlights a surprisingly common financial issue. Billions of dollars in forgotten assets are currently held by state governments, waiting to be reunited with their rightful owners. This annual observance serves an important purpose. It encourages individuals and families to reclaim money that already belongs to them and to take steps to prevent assets from being lost in the future. By understanding what unclaimed property is, how it becomes overlooked, and how to protect what you have built, you may uncover missing funds and ensure your family never has to search for them later. What Unclaimed Property Actually Is The phrase “unclaimed property” often suggests abandoned real estate or hidden treasures. In reality, unclaimed property is far more ordinary and far more common. Each year, millions of Americans are affected without realizing it. Unclaimed property refers to financial assets that have gone dormant due to a lack of activity or contact for a legally defined period, usually one to five years. When an institution cannot reach the owner, the asset must be transferred to the state through a process called escheatment. The state does not take ownership but holds the property until the rightful owner or heir comes forward. Common examples of unclaimed assets include forgotten bank accounts, uncashed checks, refunds, old investment accounts, life insurance benefits, abandoned safe deposit boxes, and final payroll checks from former employers. Address changes, job transitions, and outdated contact information often cause these assets to slip through the cracks. How Assets Disappear and Why It Can Happen to Anyone Ordinary life changes are the primary reason assets go missing. Job changes can leave behind retirement accounts. Name changes from marriage or divorce can disconnect owners from accounts. Moves without updated addresses can prevent institutions from reaching account holders. The death of a loved one creates even greater risk. Without a clear inventory of assets, families may never learn about accounts, policies, or benefits that were meant to support them. Those missing assets often represent meaningful financial security that goes unrealized. The scale of the problem is significant. States collectively hold an estimated $70 billion in unclaimed property. Texas is currently holding $10 billion in unclaimed property. While billions are returned each year, new property becomes unclaimed faster than it is reclaimed. Increasingly fragmented financial lives, digital accounts, and paperless statements make assets easier to lose track of over time. The Purpose Behind the February 1st Observance National Unclaimed Property Day was created to serve three goals: encouraging people to reclaim what is theirs, educating the public about how assets become unclaimed, and promoting prevention through better organization and planning. The February 1 date was chosen intentionally as an early-year financial reset before tax season. Each year, states and consumer advocates emphasize a simple message: Check. Claim. Prevent. Taking Action: What You Can Do Right Now The first step is to search for unclaimed property in your name. Every state maintains a free, searchable database through its treasurer or comptroller’s office. A search usually takes only minutes. Multiple-state searches are important because no national database exists. The National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators provides links to each state’s database, making it easier to search former states of residence or employment. In Texas, you can check Texas Unclaimed Property . Name variations matter when searching. Maiden names, nicknames, and middle initials may have been used when property was reported. Claims are always free, though documentation is required. Estate claims typically require a death certificate and proof of authority. Prevention strategies are even more important than recovery. Through thoughtful estate planning, I help clients create and maintain a comprehensive inventory of accounts, policies, beneficiary designations, and key financial information. This inventory is stored securely and updated as life changes. Simple habits, such as keeping contact information current and consolidating accounts when appropriate, dramatically reduce the risk of assets becoming lost. The Bigger Picture Unclaimed property reflects a quiet but costly truth. When no one knows what you own or how to access it, assets can disappear into bureaucracy. Recovery matters, but prevention matters more. February 1 is an ideal moment to search for unclaimed property and take meaningful steps to organize your financial life. Doing so protects the people you intend to benefit and preserves the legacy you worked hard to build. How I Help You Protect Your Assets and the People You Love National Unclaimed Property Day reminds us that even organized people can lose track of assets in today’s complex financial world. Protection does not have to depend on chance or a once-a-year reminder. As a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm, we help you create a comprehensive Life & Legacy Plan that ensures your assets stay with the people you love, not in state custody. With ongoing review and support, your plan evolves as your life changes, so nothing is overlooked.  This February 1, do more than search. Take the step that truly protects your family’s future.

When Ian Burke, a mail carrier from Denton, Texas, learned that Floyd, a 70-pound dog he knew from his delivery route, had ended up in a shelter after his owner died, he acted immediately. He arrived at the City of Denton Animal Shelter before it opened so he could be first in line to adopt Floyd and bring him home. It is a heartwarming story, but it also reveals a hard truth. Floyd was lucky. Many pets are not. According to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, 5.8 million dogs and cats entered animal shelters and rescue organizations in 2024, often because their owners died or became incapacitated without a plan in place. Floyd’s story could have ended very differently if no one had stepped forward. It is a reminder that our pets rely on us not only for daily care but also for their future. That is why including pets in your Life and Legacy Plan is so important. The Reality Most Pet Owners Don’t Consider According to Burke, Floyd’s owner was a Vietnam veteran who deeply loved his dog. Even so, Floyd still ended up in a shelter. This happens every day. Many pet owners assume a family member will step in, but that is not always possible. Loved ones may live far away, have allergies, rent homes that do not allow pets, or lack the resources to take on the cost of care. When families are also grieving and navigating unfamiliar legal processes, pets can be left in uncertain situations. Animals grieve too. They struggle with sudden changes in routine and surroundings. Floyd was lucky that Burke acted quickly, but many pets wait weeks or months for a new home, if they find one at all. The question is how to make sure your pet is cared for by the people you choose, in the way you want. What to Do Instead You might think telling a family member, “Take care of Fluffy if something happens to me,” is enough, but informal promises often fail. In times of grief and stress, words are forgotten, circumstances change, and family dynamics can complicate even the best intentions. Without clear legal guidance and a trusted advisor who understands your wishes, your pet could still end up in a shelter, just like Floyd. Thoughtfully Choose and Prepare Your Pet’s Future Caregivers A comprehensive pet plan goes beyond simply naming a caregiver in legal documents. When you work with me as your Personal Family Lawyer, I take the time to understand your wishes for your pet and help you choose the right people to carry them out. I prepare your chosen caregivers, so they know how to care for your pet the way you want, and I guide you through honest conversations about expectations, finances, and long-term commitments. I also help you create backup plans, including alternate caregivers and a first responder who can step in right away if there is an emergency. After you die, I will be there for your loved ones to guide your chosen caregiver and help carry out your wishes. They will not be left to figure things out on their own. And if I am no longer living, my succession plan ensures your family and your pet will still have the support they need. Consider the Practical Details That Are Often Overlooked Your pet plan should include clear, practical guidance that many low cost plans, AI tools, financial advisors, and even traditional lawyers often miss. This means documenting your pet’s routine, diet, medical history, behavior, and preferences. Details like favorite walking routes, medications, treats, and foods to avoid help a new caregiver provide consistent care and reduce stress for your pet. You should also include information on how to access veterinary records, vaccination schedules, microchip details, and pet insurance. Caregivers will appreciate knowing your pet’s daily routine, favorite toys, and comfort items that should go with them to their new home. It is also important to leave guidance for end of life care. Clear instructions about how and when to make difficult decisions lift a heavy emotional burden from your caregiver and ensure your values are respected. Another critical issue is what happens if you become incapacitated. Your plan should identify who will care for your pet and how they will access your home, supplies, and comfort items in an emergency. Without this, a pet can be left alone without food, water, or care. A colleague once saw a man fall while rollerblading and suffer a head injury. A neighbor knew he had a dog and was able to get into the house to care for it. Without that neighbor, the dog could have been left alone for days. Planning for these situations helps protect your pet when the unexpected happens. Make a Financial Plan for Your Pet’s Care According to a report by Rover.com published this year, the lifetime cost of caring for a cat or dog is estimated to be between $32,000 and $35,000. Without a financial plan, that cost can make the difference between a pet being cared for by the right person or ending up in a shelter. When you work with me, I will explain your options so your chosen caregiver has the resources they need. One option is a pet trust. A pet trust helps cover the cost of care and allows you to set clear, legally enforceable instructions for how your pet should be treated. It can specify how funds are used for food, medical care, and even end of life decisions. I will help you decide whether a pet trust is right for you, and if not, we will create a financial plan that fits your situation and protects your pet. How Life & Legacy Planning Protects Your Beloved Pet Traditional estate planning does not provide the personal guidance and support needed to make sure your pet is cared for the way you want. It usually focuses on a one size fits all set of documents like a will, trust, power of attorney, and health care directive. Those documents often sit on a shelf, become outdated, and can fail when they are needed, which can leave pets vulnerable. Documents alone do not give your loved ones the help they need when something happens to you. Without a trusted advisor staying in touch and keeping your plan current, even a well drafted plan can stop working. Life and Legacy Planning is different. I build a long-term relationship with you and extend that support to your loved ones after you are gone. While many lawyers lose touch once documents are signed, I stay connected and make sure your plan continues to reflect your life, your family, and your pet. My Life and Legacy Planning process includes regular reviews and updates as your life changes. If a caregiver moves or your pet’s needs change, we adjust your plan so it stays effective. When the time comes, your loved ones will not be left guessing what to do. They will have guidance and support, and if I am no longer living, my succession plan ensures that care continues. Take Action for Your Pet’s Future Today Floyd’s story ended well because one person stepped in, but your pet’s future should not depend on luck. By including pet planning in your Life and Legacy Plan, you can make sure your companion receives the care, love, and security they deserve. As a Personal Family Lawyer firm, I help you create a Life and Legacy Plan that protects every member of your family, including your pets. Unlike traditional lawyers who prepare documents and move on, I stay involved so your plan continues to work as your life changes. When you are no longer here, your loved ones will not be left guessing or struggling through legal processes on their own. I will be there to guide them and make sure your wishes for your pets are carried out. That ongoing support is what turns a set of documents into a plan that truly protects the ones you love.

Estate Planning for Non-Biological Parents

Here’s something few lawyers talk about: most traditional estate plans do not work the way people hope they will. Yeah, you (or your parents) spent some money years ago and had a lawyer draw up a set of documents. A will. Maybe a power of attorney. That should take care of everything, right? Well, it depends. Why Many Estate Plans Fail Over Time Over time, many estate plans quietly stop working the way they were intended. Laws change. Families grow and shift. Assets are bought, sold, or retitled. But the estate planning documents often stay exactly the same. As a result, many plans are out of date, incomplete, or never fully implemented. In some cases, beneficiary designations were never updated. In others, trusts were created but never funded. Powers of attorney may no longer reflect current wishes or current law. When this happens, families can end up in probate court, caught in conflict, or left feeling confused at exactly the moment they need clarity most. Instead of providing peace of mind, the estate plan creates stress and uncertainty. A Different Approach to Estate Planning in Texas That is why we do things differently at Misteli Law Firm. We do not produce generic, form-based estate planning documents. Instead, we focus on thoughtful, personalized estate planning designed to work in real life, not just on paper. We take the time to truly get to know you, including your family dynamics, your assets, and your values. From there, we guide you through a comprehensive planning process designed to help you: Name the right guardians for your children Prepare for incapacity or unexpected illness Protect your business and preserve your legacy Reduce the risk of probate and family conflict This approach allows us to create estate plans that evolve with your life, rather than becoming outdated the moment circumstances change. What Is Life & Legacy Planning? We call this Life & Legacy Planning. Life & Legacy Planning goes beyond a basic will or trust. It is not one-size-fits-all lawyering. It is estate planning designed to work when it matters most, to keep your family out of court and out of conflict, and to make sure nothing falls through the cracks. Our goal is simple: to help families feel confident that their wishes will be honored and their loved ones protected, even during life’s most difficult moments. A Meaningful Resolution for the New Year As the new year begins, many people think about resolutions that improve their lives. One of the most meaningful resolutions you can make is creating peace of mind for the people you love. Estate planning is not just about documents. It is about clarity, preparation, and protecting your family from unnecessary stress. If you are ready to rethink your estate plan or create one that truly works, we would be happy to start the conversation. Contact us today.

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