Challenges and Solutions for Blended Families in Texas

May 14, 2025

If you’re part of a blended family here in Texas, you already know: family can be both a beautiful blessing and a little bit complicated. When it comes to estate planning, things can get even trickier.


Whether you’ve remarried later in life, have stepchildren you love like your own, or want to make sure your kids from a previous marriage are protected, estate planning in a blended family takes extra care. And I’ve seen what happens when it gets overlooked. It’s not pretty.


That’s why I want to walk you through some of the biggest challenges blended families face—and more importantly, what you can do about them.

Why Blended Families Need a Different Kind of Estate Plan

In a traditional first marriage with shared children, most folks just leave everything to their spouse, and when the spouse passes, it goes to the kids. Easy enough.


But when you’re in a second marriage or you’ve got children from a previous relationship, that kind of simple plan can cause real problems:


  • Your kids from a prior marriage might be accidentally disinherited.
  • Your new spouse could be left financially vulnerable.
  • Stepchildren you love like your own might not have any legal rights to your assets.
  • Long-standing family tensions could boil over into legal disputes.


Estate planning isn’t just about the money, it’s about the relationships. Let’s take a closer look at what can go wrong and how to get it right.


Challenge #1: Making Sure Children from a Previous Marriage Are Protected

One of the most common issues I’ve seen is this: a parent wants to provide for both their new spouse and their kids from a first marriage—but doesn’t realize their current estate plan might unintentionally cut those kids out.


Here’s a typical scenario:


Let’s say John has two kids from his first marriage. He remarries, and when he dies, everything goes to his new wife, Sarah. He trusts that she’ll “do the right thing” and eventually pass something on to his kids.


But here’s the thing-she’s not legally required to do that. Sarah can change her will the day after John passes. She can leave everything to her own kids, a new partner, or her favorite charity. And John’s kids? They might never see a dime.


The fix:

Setting up a trust allows John to leave assets in a way that supports Sarah during her lifetime, but ensures the remaining funds eventually go to his kids. This way, he honors both commitments—without leaving it to chance.


Challenge #2: Stepchildren and Inheritance Rights

Here’s something many folks don’t realize:stepchildren don’t have any automatic legal right to inherit from a stepparent unless they’re specifically named in a will or trust.


That means if you love your stepkids like your own, and want them to receive part of your estate, you have to spell it out. The court won’t assume anything.


I’ve seen families fall apart because someone assumed their stepdad would “do what’s right,” only to find out too late that the estate went elsewhere.


The fix:

Use clear language in your estate documents. If you want to include your stepchildren, name them. If you don’t, be just as clear. A little clarity now avoids a lot of conflict later.


Challenge #3: Deciding What’s “Fair” vs. What’s “Equal”

This is where things get emotional. When you're blending families, deciding who gets what isn’t just about math, it’s about love, loyalty, and history.


I’ve seen folks struggle with questions like:


  • Should I split everything 50/50 between my biological kids and stepkids?
  • What if I brought most of the assets into the marriage—should my kids get more?
  • How do I make sure my new spouse is cared for without shortchanging my children?


These are deeply personal questions, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But ignoring them can lead to hard feelings and legal fights.


The fix:

Start by thinking about what feels fair to you, then work with an estate planning attorney to structure it clearly. You can use a mix of tools like marital trusts, life insurance, and separate property agreements,  to make sure everyone gets what they need, the way you want.


Challenge #4: Protecting a Surviving Spouse and the Children

Another big issue? Making sure your surviving spouse isn’t left in a bind but also that your children aren’t waiting forever (or never receiving anything at all).


In many blended families, one partner owns the family home, while the other moves in after marriage. If that home passes directly to the kids when the homeowner dies, the surviving spouse could be forced to move out.


On the flip side, if everything goes to the spouse, the kids might get nothing down the line.


The fix:

You can create a life estate or a trust that allows your spouse to live in the home for the rest of their life, but ensures it eventually goes to your children. Everyone’s protected, and no one gets kicked out or cut off.


Challenge #5: The "Do Nothing and Hope for the Best" Problem

I hate to say it, but doing nothing might be the biggest risk of all. I’ve seen families torn apart not because someone made a bad plan, but because they didn’t make one at all.


If you die without a will in Texas (this is called dying “intestate”), the state decides who gets what. And let me tell you, the state doesn’t know your heart.


Texas law generally splits property between your surviving spouse and your children, but it doesn’t make exceptions for blended families, stepchildren, or your specific wishes. That’s where things can really unravel.


The fix:

Even a simple will is better than none. But for blended families, I strongly recommend a more detailed plan that spells everything out and uses trusts where needed to avoid probate and preserve peace.


A Few More Tools to Consider

If you’re thinking through your own blended family plan, here are a few options that often help:


  • Revocable living trusts: Avoid probate, maintain control during your life, and guide what happens after.
  • QTIP trusts (Qualified Terminable Interest Property): Allow you to provide for your spouse during their lifetime while ensuring your kids inherit what’s left.
  • Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements: Useful for clearly identifying what’s “yours,” “mine,” and “ours.”
  • Powers of attorney and healthcare directives: So your spouse or adult child can help manage things if you're incapacitated.


Final Thoughts from Tom

I’ve seen a lot of blended families get it right—with good planning, clear communication, and a little bit of heart.


I’ve also seen families end up in court, in conflict, or completely cut off—just because no one took the time to write down what they really wanted.


Estate planning isn’t just about money. It’s about love. It’s about clarity. And most of all, it’s about making sure the people you care about are protected, respected, and cared for when you’re not there to do it yourself.


So if you're part of a blended family, my advice is simple:


Plan early. Plan clearly. And plan with the people you love in mind.


You’ll be doing them—and yourself—a big favor.

----

For more on Texas estate planning, and to learn about estate planning lawyer Tom Misteli and The Misteli Law Firm, visit www.mistelilaw.com.


This blog post is advertising and in no way constitutes legal advice or the formation of an attorney-client relationship.

The Cost of Not Having an Estate Plan in Texas

May 22, 2025
Let’s talk about something that makes a lot of folks uncomfortable: estate planning. If you’re like most people I talk to here in Texas, you might think of an estate plan as something you’ll get around to “someday”—when you’re older, wealthier, or have more time. Or maybe you’re worried it’s too expensive to deal with right now. But here’s the truth: the cost of not having an estate plan is often far greater—financially, emotionally, and legally—than the cost of getting one done right. Today, I want to walk you through what can actually happen when someone passes away without a solid plan in place. And spoiler alert: it’s not just about money. It’s about peace of mind, family unity, and protecting the people you love. What Happens If You Die Without an Estate Plan in Texas? Let’s start with the basics. If you pass away in Texas without a will or trust, the state says you’ve died “intestate.” That m eans Texas law decides: Who gets your property When they get it And how it’s divided up You may think that sounds fair—until you realize how rigid and impersonal those laws are. For example: If you’re married and have children from a previous relationship, your spouse may only receive part of your estate. If you’re unmarried with no kids, your assets could go to estranged relatives you haven’t spoken to in years. If you have minor children and no guardian named, the court decides who raises them. That’s what can happen when you don’t make the choices in advance. The Financial Cost of Dying Without a Plan You might be trying to save money by avoiding an estate plan—but here’s the kicker: your loved ones could end up paying far more in the long run. Let’s break it down: 1. Court and Probate Fees Without a w ill or trust, your estate will almost certainly go through probate—a court-supervised process for distributing assets. Probate isn’t quick, and it’s rarely cheap. In fact, probate fees (court costs, attorney fees, executor fees, and more) can eat up thousands of dollars—especially if there are disputes or delays. In some cases, it can take a year or more before your family sees a penny. And they may have to pay out of pocket to keep things moving. 2. Family Conflicts and Legal Battles Nothing drives a wedge between siblings faster than a fight over who gets what. I’ve seen families torn apart because someone died without a clear plan. Even if you “think they’ll work it out,” emotions run high after a loss. If the instructions aren’t spelled out, it opens the door for: Will contests Accusations of favoritism Disputes over sentimental items Long, expensive legal battles And sadly, it’s often the families with the least to fight over who end up in the biggest mess. 3. Tax Issues and Missed Opportunities Texas doesn’t have a state estate tax—but federal estate tax and income tax implications still exist , especially for larger estates or those with real estate, retirement accounts, or business assets. Without planning, your family might miss out on: Spousal tax exemptions Step-up in basis for capital gains Strategic gifting or charitable giving options A well-designed estate plan can reduce or eliminate these tax hits—but if you haven’t planned ahead, there’s not much they can do after the fact. The Emotional Cost: Stress, Uncertainty, and Lost Peace You know what people rarely talk about when they skip estate planning? The emotional toll it takes on the people left behind. Let’s say you pass suddenly and don’t have a will. Your spouse or kids are grieving—and now they also have to: Hire a lawyer Figure out how to pay bills Track down paperwork Guess what your wishes might have been That uncertainty leads to stress, second-guessing, and even resentment. I’ve seen surviving spouses panic because they didn’t know how to access a bank account. I’ve watched adult children argue over who mom “would’ve wanted” to get the house. And I’ve seen it happen to good families—just like yours. An estate plan doesn’t just distribute property. It gives your loved ones something money can’t buy: clarity. What If You Have Kids? The Stakes Are Even Higher If you have young children, not having an estate plan can create chaos.Here’s what’s at risk: The court decides who raises your children if you and your spouse both pass. (And it may not be who you’d choose.) Your kids may receive their inheritance outright at age 18 —with no guidance or safeguards. Without a trust or guardian in place, the court could control their finances until they’re adults—and charge fees for managing it. You’ve spent your life protecting and providing for your children. An estate plan is how you keep doing that—even if you’re not around. What I Tell Families Every Week Look, I get it, estate planning isn’t the most exciting thing on your to-do list. It feels heavy, and it’s easy to put off. But here’s what I tell my clients every week: “You can pay a little now to make a plan—or your family can pay a lot later to clean up the mess.” I’ve seen both outcomes. And trust me, peace of mind is a whole lot cheaper.
Children coloring with markers and art supplies.

Why Every Texas Family Needs a Power of Attorney

May 22, 2025
A power of attorney (POA) is a legal document that grants someone you trust the authority to act on your behalf when you cannot. But calling it "just a document" undersells its importance—a properly drafted power of attorney can be the difference between your family maintaining stability during a crisis or facing months of legal complications.
Two days holding their babies.

Protect Your Child’s Inheritance from Financial Risks

May 8, 2025
I'm not a parent, but I've worked with hundreds of them, so I know you’ve probably spent more than a few sleepless nights thinking about your kids. Are they safe? Are they healthy? Are they making smart choices? And—if we’re being really honest—what happens to them if I’m not around to guide them anymore? One question I hear a lot from parents at my law office here in Texas is this: “How do I make sure my kids don’t lose their inheritance—or blow it?” It’s a fair concern. The truth is, even a generous inheritance can vanish fast without a good plan. Creditors, divorces, bad spending habits, and family drama can all eat away at what you’ve worked so hard to build. But the good news? With the right estate planning strategies, you can protect your children’s inheritance—and give them the best shot at a secure future. Let’s review the biggest financial risks, and then I’ll share how you can create a rock-solid plan to protect your legacy. Protect your child's inheritance from financial risks
Image of a family walking on a trail together.

How Often Should Texas Families Update Their Estate Plan?

May 1, 2025
Wondering when to update your will or estate plan in Texas? Life changes like marriage, kids, or a move can mean it’s time for a review. Here’s what to look out for.)